Puzzlement

The more I read your reply e-mail,
the more confused I am.
The more I try not to expect you much,
the more dependent I am to you.

An absurd feelings haunted me lately.
I really wanna finish them all through knowing one answer: yes OR no only.
Although it may hurt, it's better to know it soon before everything is too late.

May the goodess bring the wings of free heart
that can strenghten me in every single morning meeting you.
May the sun shine brightly
to energize me in accepting any kind of plot in life story.

Just kill me with a single shot and stop toturing me with your care
Aphrodite, help me to break this puzzlement.